Adaptation
by sashabee
Summary: Five years after Hitomi returns to Earth, she feels that her life has no meaning. After her adventure on Gaea, it is hard for her to go back to her everyday life. Searching for meaning, she live on the edge until one day she decides that she needs to go


**Author's Note:  **Hi everyone, this is my first fic. ^_^  It takes place around five years after the series ended, and focuses on everyone's favorite pairing.. Hitomi and Van!  Please be kind and review to tell me what you like or don't like about it, all types of reviews are appreciated, especially as I have never received any before ^_~  

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own Escaflowne… or much of anything, for that matter ;_;

_So thirsty…._

Hitomi groaned, slowly waking up.  Her head pounded, her mouth felt like cotton.  Forcing herself to get up, she brushed against something warm and soft.  Her eyes snapped open, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that she was in a strange bed in a strange room, with a stranger passed out beside her.  And neither of them was wearing a thing.

_Ugh, wild night_, she thought.  _What, or who, did I do last night???_  Stealthily, she slipped out from under the covers.  She quickly dressed herself and snuck out, leaving the mystery man in blissful slumber.

"Hitomi!  What happened last night?"  a sharp voice demanded as Hitomi stumbled through her front door.  Yukari, with whom Hitomi shared an apartment, looked pissed.  Hitomi gave her a blank look.

"Umm, well I -"

"Hitomi, we agreed to leave the club together and you abandoned me!  Without telling me where you were going or even that you were leaving… New York is dangerous enough, and I don't appreciate you putting me in a situation like that – for the third time this month!  What's your problem lately?"

"I know, I'm sorry, but –"

"You'd better be sorry!  You knew Ana and Erin were leaving at 2:30, and when I went to find you, you were gone!"

"I know, but I-"

"You what, got completely wasted and left to go have sex with some guy you just met on the dancefloor AGAIN??  You could at least have called my cell and told me so that I wasn't searching for you like an ass.  I had to take a cab home after last call alone, AGAIN."

Hitomi frantically searched through her mind for a good excuse to give, but came up empty.   "I just didn't think, I know, I'm stupid.  I can't believe what a horrible friend I am and I can't believe what I did to you, again… I'll understand if you never want to go anywhere with me again."  She pulled out a stool from the breakfast bar and sat down, dropping her purse and burying her face in her hands.

          "Hitomi, what is wrong with you?  You've really started to get out of control lately... staying out all night, drinking constantly, hooking up with random guys… it seems like you're out almost every night."

          "There's nothing wrong!  How can you even say that?" Hitomi demanded angrily, choking back tears of denial.

          "Because there is something wrong!  I've known you your whole life, and ever since we came to this city for college, you've really started to spin out of control.  In fact, you really started to change after you disappeared."

          "That had nothing to do with the way I act!"  Hitomi franticly interjected.  "Maybe we're just becoming different people, why can't you accept that we're growing apart?"

          "Because I know you, Hitomi.  And you need to go to counseling."

          "Counseling?" Hitomi snorted.  "Yeah, like I need to pay some halfwit $200 and hour to watch me lay on a couch and talk."

          "Hitomi-chan…" Yukari beseechingly looked at her friend.  "You don't even respect yourself anymore.  You don't take care of yourself, you do dangerous things, you've given up your hobbies and you're neglecting school.  Please just do something… for me.  I can't keep living with you like this, it's stressing me out."

          Hitomi bit her lip and thought.  She didn't have a problem, per se.  After all, lots of college students went out as much as she did, it's not like she was doing anything weird.  She glanced at Yukari.  Her best friend's eyes were wide, she looked defeated and sad.  And angry?  No, she looked more frustrated, worried, tired.  _I can't keep stressing her out, she has three exams this week and a major project due._

          "Ok.  Yukari, I'll… do something," Hitomi conceded, searching her friend's face.  Yukari's forehead relaxed, the wrinkles in it disappeared and she was no longer frowning.  

"Actually," Hitomi continued, "I'm going to stay home Friday night, and we can talk.  No drinking, no partying… and even if I wanted to, I couldn't ditch you 'cause we'll already be home."

A glimmer of a smile played across Yukari's lips, and she opened the refrigerator door and leaned inside.  "Here," she said, rolling a bottle of water across the counter to Hitomi, "You'll need this after last night."

Hitomi grinned.  "Thanks Yukari-chan, you're one in a million.  Now if only you had some aspir-"

"Aspirin.  Exactly," Yukari said, rolling down the aspirin bottle as well.

"Oh man, do I ever owe you."

*                       *                       *

          Hitomi lounged on the couch, casually flipping through the channels on the tv as dusk began to set.  She steadily ate away at her third piece of pizza, pausing every now and then for a sip of peach juice.  Friday night sitting at home was so… boring.  The dull deep throbbing of someone's base thumped distantly into her apartment, reminding her of the loud parties she could have been at.  But no, talking to Yukari was more important.  Her friend had seemed ready to crack this week, with all the pressure heaped upon her from work and midterms.  _And maybe I kind of stressed her out, too… she seems so goody-goody lately, which is weird because she used to be right there with me partying all night._

A key turned in the door, and Yukari strode in, pausing momentarily to fling her backpack at her desk.  "I'm free!" she exuberantly grinned, "Well at least for now.  We finally got our program to run perfectly, no runtime errors.  Over 250 pages of code printed out, we're finally finished!"

          "Congrats Yukari-chan!  Want some pizza? It's broccoli alfredo," offered Hitomi, tantalizingly waving her half-eaten piece at her friend.

          "Mmmpphhh, thanks," mumbled Yukari, stuffing her face.

          "So anyways, what did you want to talk to me about?" Hitomi asked.

        "Well," Yukari began, "You seem so distant lately.  You're skipping classes, going out all the time, and you barely talk about things with me anymore.  I feel like there's something bothering you."

          "Look, it's sweet of you to worry, but really, I'm fine," Hitomi insisted.  "I go to class- well, to the important ones anyways.  I just like to unwind a little after studying my ass off every day, it's not like it's really affecting my grades or anything." 

          "I wouldn't call getting so drunk that you run off and sleep with guys you don't know and can't even remember 'unwinding.'"

          Hitomi blushed.  Yukari made her sound like some out of control slut.  "It's just a little fun.  I need something to make my life exciting.  I get sick of sitting around here studying all the time, waiting for graduation and the inevitable dull, dull life that awaits."

          "Dull?  Don't you have any excitement about the future?  If it's so dull, then why don't you change your major, or start running again, or travel?  It's not healthy to feel that way all the time, I think you're depressed."

          "Depressed?  I'm not depressed, I'm just unimpressed with life.  Yuki-chan, everything just seems so dull, after…" Hitomi trailed off.

          "After what?"

          "Well, after I disappeared.  I came back, and everything was so dull.  I tried, I really tried, but I can't see anything meaningful ahead of me."  

          "Hitomi, what really happened to you when you were gone?  I know you don't like to talk about it, but-"

          "You're right, I don't like to talk about it.  And even if I told you every detail, you would just think I was crazy… sometimes I think I was crazy, but I know I wasn't dreaming."

          "Hiitomi-chan, you can tell me.  I promise I won't think you're crazy, I just want to help you find what you're missing so much."

          "No, I can't tell you… I wish I could.  But let me just say, that while I was away I traveled to a lot of different places, met a lot of different people, and had some incredible adventures."

          "Hitomi, does the boy you talk to on the phone all the time have anything to do with this?"

          _Phone?__  What boy do I talk to on the phone all the time?  Maybe she means Van… although we're not exactly talking on the phone, haha._  Hitomi spoke, "Well yeah, I did meet him during that time, but it isn't how you think.  We never even kissed, so don't get your hopes up."

          "Aww, no romance?  But listen," Yukari continued, "I'm going to find you something that's not so dull, just to prove you wrong.  But for now, let's just watch some chick flicks and have a lazy night, and I'll concentrate on finding things to cheer you up tomorrow."

          "Yeah, ok, you go for it.  I can't wait to see what you have planned," Hitomi smirked.  But inside, she really doubted that Yukari would really do anything effective. _ I just wish I could go back… one more time…_

Sighing, Hitomi popped in a DVD, and the girls settled down to watch.  

*                       *                       *

Later that night, Hitomi lay in bed thinking.  She couldn't fall asleep, and glanced around the shadowy softness of her bedroom thinking.  Light from the street peeked through around the edges of her blinds, giving them a halo effect.  _Van should have a halo since he's an angel – after all, he has the wings to go with it.  _

Her thoughts went to Van.  It had been several weeks since they'd talked.  After she'd come back from Gaea, they began to communicate with the help of the pendant.  They talked very often, almost every night.  But then gradually, they began talking less and less.  _And why wouldn't we?  After all, we both have our own busy lives, and he is a king.  What did I expect, that we would be best friends forever, fall in love, and get married?  We don't even live on the same planet… it's only normal to grow apart when you've both changed so much and haven't even seen each other in five years…_

Tentatively, Hitomi called out to him.  _Van?__ …hello, Van?  Are you there?_

_Hitomi?__  Hi, how are you?_

_          I'm doing ok.  How are you?  What is new with Fanelia?_

_          I'm alright.  I've been in trade negotiations all day – incredibly important, but also incredibly dull and boring.  I'm just happy to relax now that everything is wrapped up.  _

_          Yeah, you were always more of a warrior, _laughed Hitomi_._

          _I know.  I prefer leading the Royal Fanelia Guard much more to foreign relations.  It's so integral to our national security though, so I cannot ignore my responsibilities.  Gaea suffered so much during the Destiny Wars, Fanelia was devastated.  We are rebuilding, but sometimes it is so difficult to lead without any experience.. there is so much I don't know._

_          Wow Van, you are becoming so wise!  When I first met you, you refused to admit that there wasn't anything you didn't know or couldn't do._

_          Yeah, well I've become a little more mature since then.  _Van laughed._  I have learned so much, after I finally learned that I don't always need to know everything.  _

_          Van…  can I ask you a question?_

_          You are always free to do so, Hitomi._

_          How do you calm down after a battle?  How do go back to normal after living so dangerously?  One moment you are living on the edge, everything going so fast, and your actions meaning everything.  What you do in one heartbeat could decide the fate of the world... how do you go back to living so simply, so meaninglessly?  _

Van was silent for a moment, surprised at Hitomi's words.  This had never occurred with him, as a king everything he does is important to Fanelia's future._  Hitomi… _he thinks_, sometimes I think life cannot always be what you expect it.  Your life is not meaningless, don't ever think that again.  Look at what you did for me, for Gaea.  How has that been done without meaning?_

Hitomi frowned.  Van did not understand her._  It is with meaning, but it is all finished.  My life afterwards is much different than yours.  Your life in Fanelia, it is so important.  My life on Earth counts for nothing.  All I have in my future is finishing school, then working every day for the next forty years, supporting myself and then saving up enough money to live on when I am old until I die.  Life here is so different, so easy and so hard at the same time.  Sometimes, I just wish I did not come back… _

_          Hitomi, staying in Gaea would only frustrate you.  Your life on the Mystic Moon sounds so interesting, so exciting. You are free to decide what you do, to chose how your country is to be ruled, and you have machines to do just about everything for you.  Life here is not that luxurious._

Hitomi laughed.  Van was always fascinated with Earth's technologies, and he loves to listen to her stories._  I don't want a comfortable life… it's nice, but my life can't really be considered a life if there is no meaning.  Earth is so different from Gaea.  Here, there are billions of people doing the same thing, and in a crowd no one will notice you or look at what you are doing.  I'm just going to be a mindless drone in a mindless corporation, never even being recognized for my work because here age is everything.  Someone older will always be praised and promoted.  And you can't even begin to imagine our way of life and our vices.  You'd be shocked._

Van laughed back._  Shocked?  How little you think I know, Hitomi.  And I did not know you missed Gaea so much.  _

_          Well… I guess I do.  And what I'm really trying to ask is if I could come back for a little while, to see what Gaea and Fanelia when they are not in the middle of a war.  Would you mind if I wanted to come?  Do you even think it's possible?   _

_          Possible?  Maybe… we cannot know until we try.  I have not seen you in a long time, of course you would be welcomed back.  I am in your debt for all you have done for Fanelia.  _

Hitomi did not know if she wanted to be welcomed as his debt to her… she wanted to be welcomed as herself, not as the seer who had saved Gaea!  But any welcome was better than none, and she resigned herself to it.

_          Van, do you think we could try?_

_          How soon, now?_

_          Umm.. now would work.  Just gimme some time to pack a few things and write a note to my roommate, and we can see if it even works._

Hitomi raced around her room, throwing clothes, shoes, toiletries, and pictures into her bag._  What else do I need?  _Hitomi thinks.  She throws in a few bottles of aspirin, then remembers that she still needs to write Yukari a note.  She writes:

Dear Yukari,

          I'm sorry, but I am leaving for a short time.  I have been thinking it over, and you are right – I need to find something exciting, to put meaning back into my life.  So, I am going back to where this started from – I am revisiting something that happened while I disappeared in high school.  I'm sorry to leave you a note like this, but this is something I must do.  Don't worry about me, I will be safe, and I will come back.  Sorry.

Love,

Hitomi

Hitomi left the apartment, locking the door.  In the abandoned hallway, she looked back at their door before ascending the steps to the roof.  She felt bad leaving Yukari, who will be worried about her.  But this is something she feels like she must do, and something she feels good about doing.

She emerged onto the roof and looked up at the sky but unable to see any stars due to the ambient light of the city.  Definitely, she cannot see Gaea, where she could very soon be.  

_          Van, I am ready… Are you ready?_

_          Hitomi… I am prepared. Get ready. _

Hitomi waits, but nothing happens.  Minutes go by.  _This isn't working!  I need to go back, why must it be impossible now?_

Suddenly, she is engulfed in a column of light.  She can slowly feel herself being lifted from the roof, and then everything goes black.


End file.
